SSSexual Theory

Sky Smiths Ponderings

Category: Finding Sex

Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts.

By

On November 22, 2017

In Autobiography, Finding Sex, Harrasment

Day 10 on the sex drought. The last guy i rejected has cursed me. The failed date I drove to pick up and then just didnt like. I had such high hopes. And such blue balls. And I havent had a release since. Well Ive cum alot. Just only by my own hand. And that isnt what i need. I need some weird, kinky, extreme, exciting sex. I now have over 200-250 emails. And a offer from the cutest boy on my Tinder. But its STILL not happening. So I guess it is me now. Am I being picky? Ive emailed with a few of them, but nothing has progressed. When it works, it just works, with all the people i meet. Craigslist isnt helping me either. It cock blocked my last two posts about the specific kinks i want to explore right now. More specifically, soomeone now keeps flagging my posts and they keep getting removed, because apparently i cant be real, must be a scam or are violating their conditions by being really horny and wanting to get laid in a interesting and specific way. The upshot is, I still havent gotten laid. There is alot of comments I could make and conclusions i can draw from the kind of emails i have recieved over the past 48 hours, but i havent learnt anything I didnt already know. I am going to start compiling my thougths on things outside of my own life, like this, into essays. Just so i do it. Keep them for myself. i have started a list of topics i already have ideas for.

Ok I have just solved my own sexual frustration problem. Im going to a sex club in San Fran tonight. Alone. Fuck it. I need to be around this stuff.

And i already have changed my mind. Thank you again google and yelp for reviews! There is such a massive gap for a space where people can openly share their sexual desires and connect and act them out. Like one of those kids play warehouses things, but for adults, and not gross. Maybe I will just go. Its only $10. If i go at like midnight there should be people there. I’ll see how I feel. And I can check it out. But then I am in San Fran. But then I am in San Fran! Find a parking spot for the holiday weekend? Good sex? More people not less though.

I had a bath in the bus last night. I boiled some water and just used the sink. I exfoliated my whole body and used soap! it was a revelation. 5 months in and i have never had a hot sponge bath in the bus! Some ideas come to me too easily, some, im a little slow!

I had a hilarious walk yesterday. I was deep in thought about my sexual freedom and all the positives of being a strong, sexual woman, how excited i was to be incorporating that into my life again, when a lean, grey haired man in his 50s, came towards me on a road bike, in full gear, at speed. As he drove past he broke my reverie by calling out “ohh look at that. what a hottie. phew” with a sharp intake of breath. After the shock, the realization of the juxtaposition of the thoughts i was having and the experience my body was having in the world at the same time hit me…and i nearly died laughing. It came out of nowhere. He seemed so professional and was definitely of comfortable means. And he sounded so old fashioned. Then a few minutes later a man in his 60s called after me that i had very “psychedelic” pants on. Drawing my attention to the fact that he was watching me and my legs from behind while i walked away. These kind of daily interactions rub up against my belief of being able to be a liberated, sexual woman. It stops me dressing how i want, saying what i want and even walking with the gait i would like. But it will not stop me wanting to be able to use my body how i choose without judgment or unwanted attention.

Craigslist Personals: Desperate Times.

By

On November 21, 2017

In Finding Sex, Kink

i often stop writing half way through what i was saying. I get bored of the story so I dont push it. yesterday my obsession with sex took over. i spent the whole day looking up people online, messaging a couple of people on t/b (gonna have to abbreviate that shit or come up with a universal name for them that isnt “dating apps” maybe DAs). I even ventured on to craigslists casual encounters section. I expected it to be filled with adverts for massage and escorts, but instead there were mostly just posts from people looking for certain sexual experiences, right now. the more i read, the more i was thinking it might work for me if i posted what i wanted. my frustration was building so much that by about 5pm i posted my first ad on craigslist. 19 hours later i have nearly 150 replies and I’m slightly overwhelmed, still incredibly frustrated and I still havent gotten any sex.

Very laid back and experienced Brit looking for experienced, kinky men – w4mm
Dominant, experienced, very open, non judgmental woman looking for a man/men/bi men to help me shake off some pent up sexual energy.
I’m currently particularly interested in:
MMF; Bi MMF; Cuckold; Alpha in the street, sub in the sheets!; Rimming; Pegging; Cum eaters; Taboo roleplays; Gangbangs; DP.
I am looking to play this week. If you’ve read this far and think you, or you and all your friends, might be up to the task, please email with the subject “I want” and include in your message what you want to get up to, your experience, a dick pic and a face pic.
I will need you to be able to host.

I think the problem is figuring out who i get turned on by, from just pictures. Someone needs to have a very attractive face for me to want to meet them off the internet. I think I need a new way to asses my interest. Because there are over 100 men in the area who want to have interesting and kinky sex with me and I cant figure out who I’m even attracted to. I also want to re frame how i weigh up sex, attractiveness, kinks and what turns me on. If i expand my potential pool of mates by lowering attractiveness down from number one in my priorities, I may actually get more satisfying sex. What if i want a slave. Some one to cook for me, bathe me, massage me and please me how i want and be my toy to use and treat how i want for the evening. His looks no longer need be a priority. His willingness to serve and his skills and tool he has for serving me becomes the priority.

From the responses to my ad, I can tell the majority of the men are identifying as dominant and will be conceding to let a woman take control so they can experience something exciting with someone they want to fuck any way. I think it is time for me to experience a truly submissive man.

Ok now with that re-framed in my mind there are too many men I can meet. I think I should do 5 minute speed date calls to see if we click. Saves messages. And if we do we can meet right away.

Yes. This is me currently planning how to be able to get more sex. Weirder sex. I want an exchange of sexual kinks and games and events to be another strand of society and culture to be fully and openly explored, talked about and shared. But like all my ideas of how the world should be, it is a conceptual fantasy not a plausible reality or an alternative solution.

Im in the launderette right now. Wanna get taken to the bathroom and fucked on the sink. I dont know why i am overflowing with sexuality right now. this week. this month. but i love it. i am at my happiest when my sexuality is in full bloom. when i want all the men and all the penis. it is my energy resource! gonna get my laundry out and think about penis more. i better have more to write about later!

I Want Sex

By

On November 20, 2017

In Finding Sex

I want Sex. I can’t find any. I am talking to a fewwww guys on tinder and bumble but nothing is jumping out at me. No one I can really be bothered to have a conversation with, let alone suggesting a swinging from the rafters type session with! I get frustrated at times like this. Cause it should be easy but it’s not! I wish I could approach someone in public if I wanted them. I have giant balls. But not when it comes to approaching men. I’d love to walk into Walmart (I’m parked here, it’s not part of the fantasy) and see a hot guy and just tell him I wanted him to come back to the bus and fuck me. I guess I’ve done it in nightclubs and pubs a lot. Just never in daylight! And not for a very long time. Also. I’m bussy now. Hairy and smelly. It doesn’t lend itself to spontaneity! But I need Sex. Asap. And I also really need some interesting sex asap. I want a hotel gangbang. I might have to try and arrange something for San Fran. I’m going to do laundry and get on the computer and figure things out.

Trying To Start

By

On November 16, 2017

In Autobiography, Feminsim, Finding Sex

Argh I have stuff to do but i just need to write. i feel so good. yes. im pretty high but i have been having a lot of ideas, or thoughts this morning. i listened to a podcast about feminism and hear about Catherine Hakim and Economic Capital. She is everything I would say…..

…..I was trying to start writing about a feminist podcast that id been listening to and each time i re read it i needed to change it. i couldnt get it write. i cant get what i think in my head to make clear sense on the page. to a third person. that is what being good at writing must be. I cant communicate my ideas very well at all, but I can tell stories. Also formulating my own feminist theory isnt something I can probably bust out in half an hour in starbucks. so for now. I will only write about what i can comfortably enjoy re reading.

I felt like i had a million things to write when i came in and sat down, but trying to formulate that has left me much clearer headed. and less high. I think high time is ideas time and i need less thoughts when i write. all i did yesterday was sit in starbucks and build the website. it felt great. i was tired at the end of the day.

im supposed to be meeting someone here from tinder later, but ive already decided i dont want to. i missed that he had one of those faces that looks good in photos but not so much when its moving. its a thing. ive learnt to pick them out normally, but this conversation escalated to coffee invite before i got to fully check it out. Worst case though I talk to someone for an hour our so. I forget that most people dont expect immediate sex from a first meet! I think its cause more normal people are doing internet dating now, rather than it just being sex or marriage obsessed people, like it was 5 – 10 years ago. Im trying to remember now when my first online date was, when did I discover it. I might have to check my list. Ok. 30th June 2010. Tim. I remember him. We might even still be friends on Facebook. Plentlyoffish.com. My first tinder was 26th November 2013. Taylor. He was and is amazing. And I cant believe how many people i fucked in real life meeting!!!!! Out of my first 300, only FIFTEEN of them were off the internet! I literally cant believe it. But 30ish out of the last 45ish since my first tinder are off the internet. So the ratio of real life to internet changed dramatically! Ah the partying days. The Australia years. Ok. Work time.

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